You're it!

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By Tom Pacak

“Based On A True Story. We’re Not Kidding.” This tagline (no pun intended) reads across the movie poster for “Tag.” I couldn’t believe it either. A couple years back a Wall Street Journal article was published about a group of middle age men who would take one month out of the year to play a simple game of tag. Everybody playing was fair game. You can get tagged at the airport, movie theater, or even your backyard. It’s a great way for this unique group of guys to stay in touch. 

Now, this weird story has actually been adapted to the screen. The film does wear itself thin on just being a one-joke comedy about a guy's fear of getting tagged. Sorry, this isn't the summer comedy we were hoping for. 

“Tag” opens up with Hoagie Malloy (Ed Helms) applying for a job as a janitor at an insurance company. Despite having a Ph.D. in Animal Studies, Hoagie’s real intentions at getting this job is so he can tag the CEO of the company, Bob Callahan (Jon Hamm). You already know these boys take this game seriously when they risk looking like buffoons at their jobs.

Showing up in disguise, Hoagie finally gets the opportunity to tag Callahan during his interview with a Wall Street Journal reporter, Rebecca (Annabelle Wallis). Hoagie convinces Callahan to get the crew together to finish one last game of tag, the stoner friend Chilli (Jake Johnson) and the annoyingly observational Kevin (Hannibal Buress) tag along (pun intended). The goal of this game is to tag their fifth friend, Jerry (Jeremy Renner) an over-the-top fitness guru who has never been tagged in his life. Jerry has plans on retiring so it would be the cherry on top to finally tag him. Hoagie described Jerry as, “the best that has ever played.” Once you see Jerry’s Sherlock Holmes style moves, you’ll see why he’s the best. Renner also shows some comedic talent in the role that I knew he had watching his quick whips in the Marvel movies but I’m glad he got to use more of it here. Hopefully, he’ll get more comedic opportunities in better movies.

So the film just becomes an exercise of watching a bunch of grown men acting dumb just for the sake of being dumb. The women in this movie sit on the sidelines and watch this stupidity instead of embracing in it. The talent of Rashida Jones is wasted as a young fling that both Callahan and Chilli had back in the day. The film would probably be minutes shorter if her scenes were cut. The only woman who really has a role is Isla Fisher as Anna, Hoagie’s wife, who shows “Wedding Crashers” style comedy chops as somebody who may be too competitive for the game. Which is saying a lot when you look at the lengths these guys go to not get tagged.

What makes this movie a disappointment is that it could have been a lot better. The film has a message of keeping in touch with your friends but is meddled down with its cynical attitude. The friend group goes to Jerry’s AA meetings in order to try and tag him and Jerry's wife, Susan (Leslie Bibb) fakes a miscarriage so Jerry can use a get out of jail free card. Chilli mocks the sobriety of other AA members by bragging about how stoned he is. All of the successful comedy films have one in common, they got a heart. "Tag" unfortunately has a heart that is bogged down by mean-spiritedness. Sorry "Tag," you're not it.

Rating: 1.5 out of 4 

Note: Now Playing in Theaters 

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